How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
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