Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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