how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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