69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
