He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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