Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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