he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
