i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
