I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
