So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
