This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
