The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
try to milk me bitch
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