3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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