idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
