you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
