do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
