so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
