I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
