gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
