its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
