I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize