Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
