It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
