imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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