i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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