Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
True college students do jello shots in the library
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
