My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
