i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
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