TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
