Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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