Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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