5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
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I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
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I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize