Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
