Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
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Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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