So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
