Apparently you make a good broom.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
