her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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