I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He kissed a someone with a penis
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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