so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
