you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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