please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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