im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
