Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.