I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof