But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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