we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
