I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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