I'm lost and stupid without you.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize