Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
