that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
