3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
