Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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