So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Is Oprah even human
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
