Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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