We're facebook friends in real life
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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