Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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