What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
