i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
