Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
