Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
