I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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