Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
